Two Months After my Arrival...

Chile. What was I expecting before I got here? I’m not quite sure…but there is definitely a stark difference between my preconceptions and reality. Beforehand I had some sort of subconscious idea that I was going to change Chile… like that I was going to serve the poor and end all the economic problems this country has. It sounds pretty silly when I write it all out now, but honestly, it seemed so completely logical in my mind. But before I jump to how incredibly wrong I was and explain in detail, let’s begin at well, the beginning.

I arrived on the 14^th of August, surprisingly well slept and full of adrenaline. As I came out of the customs area of the airport I heard a sweet voice yell “RRACHEL!” exactly like that, two rolled r’s and all. It was Romi, my host sister and soon to be best friend. She and I enjoyed a nice long hug, and then I met the rest of my new family. My dad was wearing a sombrero, and my host brother smelled of AXE and was rocking the shades and gelled hair. My host mom smiled and held me close in the first picture we took in the airport together. Soon after all of this, we got into the car and headed for the house. I had already seen pictures of my family, the pool, tennis court, house, and dogs. Upon arrival it was a bit like jumping into the photos that I had for months simply looked at on a computer screen. And I haven’t jumped back out yet. I live in these photos. Daily I am becoming more familiar with my family, learning about their history and their life stories. So when I return to the States I won’t be able to just hop right back out of the photos as easily as I entered. I already feel a strong bond with these warm and loving people and this rich culture that used to be simply photos.

To delve more into how Chile is molding and changing me, I’ll begin with the people. They are the epitome of everything kind and welcoming and generous. They are affectionate with their words and their hugs and kisses. They share everything they have from their BIG TIME gum to their seasonal germs when greeting one another. Family time is so important here. And it’s not just with immediate family; it’s aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and the like. Asado (meat on the grill), I’ve found, is a way my father likes to gather the family on lazy Sundays. Also, time here is very subjective…that’s right you heard me. Clocks actually function differently here. 2 o’clock doesn’t mean 2 o’clock at all. It doesn’t even mean 2:30…it’s more like anytime before 6, and if you don’t show up, well then that wouldn’t surprise anyone either. What a change from my rigid schedule at Mount Saint Mary Academy, the all-girls Catholic High School, which claimed to be a Mercy school, but in reality never demonstrated grace when I rolled into school 2 minutes late. You may be thinking, oh how nice…no agenda, just relaxing. But, honestly, it’s a difficult transition for me, so accustomed to the fast paced lifestyle. Im learning to slow down, to enjoy just being. That’s what’s hardest, hushing the reverberating sounds of my thoughts that bounce off the walls of my mind, leaving no room for silence. But I am changing. I’m embracing the silence, the lack of activity, and the joy in all of it. The peacefulness of my family here is such a good example to me. It’s almost a bit Zen like. One of my favorite things is a Saturday morning when we all sleep late, wake up without a rush, and feel no need to “get things done,” during the day. Before I came here, I was tired of running on the treadmill of life in the United States, but I didn’t know just how out of breath I was.

Throughout this learning process, of course, I’m daily practicing my Spanish. Frustrating. This word indeed begins to describe the collaboration of emotions that accompany not being able to communicate. And it’s not like I don’t know how to say, “Pass me the salt please.” I mean really connect; to talk to someone and for them to know exactly what I'm saying and the weight of my words and all the emotions that back up my statement. This is what I lack. That can make things lonely…but it also makes me realize just how much people need community. It's vital. We weren’t created to live like gas particles, floating in the air alone, only sporadically colliding with one another, only to bounce off and continue on our way in another direction. We’re more like liquids…follow me on this tangent. If we’re all particles, I want to be in a liquid: in connection with others but not restricted to solely vibrate in one place (like in a solid)…I want to flow and move, but in the same time, I want to bond and relate with others. We’re all in our own journey and I hope to slide close to others to share feelings and thoughts. This connection is what I’ve experienced with other exchange students here in Chile. We just get each other. We don’t have to explain everything we’re going through because we just understand. We are all striving to learn, we’re all messing up and being corrected, and then trying again. But we are also enjoying the benefits of being “the foreigner.” We soak up the attention while it lasts.

Personally I keep reminding myself that I am here to learn exactly how to embrace: how to embrace new foods, new people, different schedules, beautiful moments, discovering new places, loneliness…embracing it all because without all the aspects of life, it just simply isn’t life.

I know that I haven’t really reveled much in all the details of my 18^th birthday party, el Bicentenario, learning the Cueca, school being a complete ruckus, watching the miners on television being lifted out, or my undeniable infatuation with my electric blanket…but these are all just details that surround the substance of my exchange. The important part is that I’m growing as a result of all these little details.